We hear it throughout our schooling: we have to set and maintain firm boundaries. We all get why they’re important, right?
Yet, the boundary creep starts immediately, when professors change plans or the department changes a requirement and suddenly “no classwork on this day” has at least one exception.
We get to our first practicum site, and the competition is fierce enough that saying “no” to any opportunities feels like a risk.
We get to our clinical internship, and most of us are immediately asked to take on too much too fast, as soon as credentialing is complete. Before we get a chance to set our boundaries and keep them, we hear the way others talk about the employees who do keep firm boundaries.
If you haven’t encountered that, I’ll let you know it’s generally not great. I admire these folks for managing something that feels impossible.
There’s so much coming from our teachers and supervisors that contradicts the edict to keep firm boundaries, and yet, we’re expected to have firm boundaries with our clients from the start. The two practices conflict, I’ve found, especially when a supervisor asks you to compromise boundaries for a client by changing your hours, your availability, or your willingness to work with a certain diagnosis or population.
Some boundaries are pretty easy for me:
I need to feel physically safe.
I will not go against the code of ethics, especially as it relates to dual relationships.
I will not give my personal number or home address to a client.
Others?
I definitely let my client load get too big too quickly, and most with high acuity at that. It’s hard to say no when asked to take someone who urgently needs therapy, especially if they’re in a marginalized group I specialize in. I got better at setting firm limits, but there were days I didn’t get lunch because I had too many clients on my schedule.
Part of the struggle, too, is how many therapeutic boundaries have exceptions. For example, we should wrap up sessions at the correct time, but that’s flexible if someone is in crisis, or out the door if they’re actively experiencing SI/HI. We shouldn’t give clients ways to contact us outside of session without going through the office, but some modalities all but require it.
Some boundaries I set very loose but do follow, such as with no-shows: as long as the client is trying and communicating, I don’t hold any missed appointments against them, but two in a row with no communication, and I’ve verified they aren’t in crisis? I’m done until they communicate properly (and I’m not picky on mode of communication, either!).
Are boundaries like that still boundaries, or are they ultimately case-by-case evaluations?
I suppose my own conclusion is that I have few rigid boundaries, some porous ones that can be bent in exceptional circumstances, and some that are more like general guidelines.
If you’ve stuck with me this far, I’d like to hear how you keep yourself and your clients safe and avoid burnout while doing a job that’s chronically understaffed and over pressured. If you’re a more experienced provider: since boundaries are easiest if they’re present from the start, what advice would you give a brand new CSW-I about to start their first internship?